Where Have You Been?!

For those of you who follow my page, you may have noticed a lot of silence lately. Some of you have even asked the question, why aren't you advertising your third book? There is a very good reason, and I would be happy to share that with you now.

There are several aspects of writing that I thoroughly enjoy. And there are a few small aspects that make me cringe. 

Firstly, the writing. Honestly, when people think about writers I think for the most part that they would assume the writing and creating is the hardest part, but it's not. For a creative thinker who enjoys the writing process, it is very fun and often easy. Sure, there are a lot of difficult moments when a writer needs to do intense research or plan and develop characters, but it is all part of the fun of being creative. 

Secondly, the publishing process. For a self-published author such as myself, there is a lot of work processing, editing, more editing, and design that goes into the publishing process. As a former administrative assistant, I thrive with these types of jobs. I enjoy the little quirks needed in order to complete a professional piece of work. 

Thirdly, the advertising. Without a doubt, this is where I fall short. I do not like to promote myself or my book. I don't like telling people about it because I HATE spoilers and I am always sure I'll ruin it even by telling someone the character's names. I don't want to "toot my own horn," so to speak, because then people might ask more questions that I don't have the energy to answer. My dream would be to have someone else do the advertising for me.

With that being said, over the Christmas break I decided to look into publishing through an actual publishing house. I did a lot of research, and without going into too much detail, it was expensive. VERY expensive. So I looked into grants in order to cover the cost, but grants cover the work of writing and not the publishing, so that was a no go. I had an interview of sorts with a publishing company and fell very short of selling my book as I am not great at it, though in the end it was the cost that stopped me from following through on that plan. The idea was that if I could get a company to publish my work, the pressure of sales would be off my shoulders. 

Therefore, I stopped advertising. Because if a publishing company were to publish my book, I would have to pull all my books from Amazon self-publishing anyway, and allow the company to print them instead. It seemed a waste to me to have to do double advertising, so I didn't bother. 

This weekend I spoke to my friend, the artist I work closely with on my books, and complained that I have only sold 25 copies of the third book. I feel it is the best work of the series so far, and I want more people to enjoy the depth of content I worked into the third novel. It is the type of book I think can really make a difference in someone's life. She reminded me that for those 25 people who took the time to read the book, it did make a difference. And isn't that the point? The point isn't sales or numbers or covering my cost. The point, for me, is to bring joy to others, to allow myself a creative outlet, and to share my imagination with the world. Everything else is extra. 

And so, after careful consideration, research, and speaking to other authors, I have decided to continue self-publishing for the very reason I initially chose this route. I don't want anyone putting me into a deadline, and I don't want my work controlled or owned by any other company. So now it's back to the drawing board on advertising. If anyone has any advertising advice, please feel free to let me know. Otherwise, I would be very grateful for anyone who advertises for me via word of mouth and shares my books with others.

Chapter 20 - Going Home

Chapter 20

This chapter marks the end of the book. The end. That's it. No more. 

Should I write a second book? I did.

Should you read it? You should.

Should I read it to you? Well... maybe. Maybe not. I don't currently have time, but maybe one day.

I hope you enjoyed the Wicket of Silvus. Please leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads to let me know what you think. Every review helps. :)

The Fire Queen

Several people have asked who these books are written about or if they are about anyone at all, and I have to say no. Sure, there are some personality traits that I've taken from one person or another that I know, but this book is actually more about the impacts of intergenerational trauma. 

Working as a counsellor is interesting because there are people from all walks of life that come to chat with me. Some people come in and say, "I had a great childhood, everything was fine, but I just can't figure out what's wrong with me." And sometimes, as we discuss their childhood, we realize that they may not have had severe trauma, but their parents did, and because of that the parents were disengaged and unable to build strong attachments with their kids. This means the kids struggle from unhealthy attachment styles that they bring with them into adulthood and creates a plethora of challenges for an adult with poor attachment. 

Intergenerational trauma is so difficult for individuals because they don't know why they aren't loved or where their trust issues come from. Also, there is a much greater likelihood that the individual will experience trauma themselves because of family patterns. 

*spoiler alert*

In this chapter, I wanted to show that the self-esteem issues Brianna struggles with are her own trauma to deal with, but the root cause is her mom's trauma, brought on by her parents' trauma of losing a child and her own trauma of losing a sister. It's not anyone's fault when these things happen, but understanding your own trauma and dealing with it can really help to stop the cycle to the next generation. 

Practically A Masterpiece Theatre

We interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcasting for this special announcement.

Earlier in the video series, someone asked me, "Don't you think people are going to think it's a bit self-centred to call your chapters 'Practically a Masterpiece Theatre'?"

Honestly, I thought it was amusing and thought everyone would know it's just a play on Masterpiece Theatre, but basically saying I'm not up to that standard. 

Here's the problem... (as per usual)... my brain got it wrong.

"What do you mean?" you ask.

Weellllll... You see, my brain sometimes pieces together bits of random information and creates a memory. For example, it remembers the song that went along with Masterpiece theatre, that showed lots of goofy objects and random old pictures and things like that... This song...

But this is not completely what I remember, now that I've done some research to figure out what I was talking about. Sure, parts of it are vaguely familiar, like the song and the books and the old objects, but then I remember Sam the Eagle from the Muppets coming on and saying, "Welcome to Masterpiece Theatre." Except that's not right, is it... then I found this.

It's not Masterpiece Theatre I remembered. Nope, it's the first 39 seconds of this video clip that I remember, which says, "Welcome to Monsterpiece Theatre" and Cookie Monster is eating cookies in the background. 

So if you're thinking to yourself, "Lisa, you're so vain for making your recordings sound like they are practically a masterpiece," just remember that I based this decision off of a cookie-loving Muppet who belches in the intro. This is not high-class stuff, folks. Ha ha!

The Tree of Omission

Have you ever been at the end of a long journey only to find out that there was more? Maybe you quit a job and then were told they needed you for a couple extra weeks. Or maybe you were volunteering for something but it was never quite over.

This happened to me when I was completing my MA in Marriage & Family Counselling. I had completed all of the courses and finished all of my final interview and assignments. All I needed were counselling hours for my practicum and I would be done. I submitted my hours and let them know I would have them done by the end of the summer, but alas, that was not good enough. Because I had missed a deadline that I was unaware of by 2 weeks, I had to wait a full year before I could graduate. 

The same thing happened in my BA in Religious Education. I have a volunteer credit I had to earn so I spent an entire summer volunteering at my church to get in the hours I needed, but when I returned to school, I was told it wasn't good enough because apparently I needed approval first and then I could do the hours. I had to find an in-depth opportunity during my last year of school to make up the hours, even though they would have approved it if I filled out the paperwork beforehand. 

I feel like this is the feeling Brock and Brianna have in this chapter. Everything is coming to a close and the one they look up to says, "first we have a journey." WHAT?! They just went through a journey! And now they have another one? 

But that's how it is sometime in our walk with God, isn't it? We think, "we're doing great! I've got this! God and I are tight!" but then something happens and we go, "Oh, I guess this is just another step along the journey" and sometimes we groan inwardly. That's okay! Journeys can be long or short, easy or difficult, lonely or companionable, but every journey has a purpose. The crazy thing is, that purpose may not be about you. It might be about who you're journeying with, or who witnesses your journey, or who you can talk to about it later. Life isn't about you, it's about God, and you have the privilege to choose to walk with him on the journey if you want. 

So don't give up! Just take it one step at a time, and every now and again you might get a shortcut.

Brock's Battle

Throughout this series of "insights on the chapters," I have focused mainly on my connection to the chapter or why I wrote certain things. For this chapter, we need to have a chat about the artist.

Tabitha Hanson is, in my opinion, one of the most talented and incredible artists that I have ever known... and I've known quite a few artists. She not only has great skill, but a heart of love, creativity, and joy. Back when I knew her in college, I was super intimidated by her unique style and pleasant personality. She just was so artistic and creative and altogether amazing, I never thought I could measure up. With every ounce of my being I wished we could be friends. And somehow, we connected. Not in a deep, forever friendship kind of way at the time, but just enough that I felt privileged to be able to chat with her sometimes and feel like she actually liked me enough to spend time together.

A few years ago, my sweet Jersey dog passed away. Jersey was a therapy dog who would work with me in volunteering to help those struggling with anxiety or just needing some encouragement. Through Instagram, Tabitha reached out to me again and sent me a drawing of Jersey. It meant the world to me. I don't know why she did it or what made her think of me in that moment since we hadn't talked in years, but it changed something for me. 

I started writing my book shortly after and asked a few people about thoughts on the cover art, and then I stumbled across that picture of Jersey. I remembered how talented Tabitha is, and how kind-hearted, and I thought I would reach out, not expecting much. To be honest, I don't play well with others when it comes to a project like this. I am, unfortunately, easily hurt and discouraged with negative comments. So reaching out to friends to see if they would be willing to join me in a project of this magnitude was way outside my comfort zone. Yet, knowing her personality from many years ago, I felt like we could collaborate well together. 

And we did! The cool thing was that Tabitha went above and beyond for my project and through it all we really clicked on ideas. She read the book, gave me helpful insights, drew pictures for every chapter, and even sent extras for fun! In fact, she often had multiple pictures per chapter for me to choose from, but for some reason I didn't always know where they should go because I liked them all. So I started placing things where they seemed to fit, and where there wasn't an obvious picture I placed something I thought would go fairly well with the chapter. The only chapter where I couldn't figure out what picture she was drawing to match the chapter was this one, Chapter 17. After sorting through the rest of the pictures, there were still 3-4 extras to choose from for this chapter. One of them she had named "Reverse Tulip." I have to be honest with you, I did a word search through the book document to see where I had mentioned a reverse tulip, because how cool does that sound, but I never once mentioned it. Yet, of all the pictures, this one was perhaps one of my absolute favourites. Even though it really doesn't connect with this chapter at all, I couldn't help myself and threw it in. I can't remember, did I change some wording in the chapter so it would match? I don't think so...but perhaps. 

Anyway, if it weren't for Tabitha's kindness, gentle spirit, and creativeness, I don't know if I would have ever finished this project. She is like a real-life fairy princess to me, surrounded by magic, and I am so glad we have reconnected as friends and pen pals again. 

Thanks, Tabitha. I look forward to our next project together!

The High Emperor

In reading a lot of adventure books, I find there is usually one thing in common: the spider scene is the crazy, evil scene. 

There will be none of that in my books. Again, referencing the last blog posting, I will do my best to never write anything that could potentially cause nightmares for anyone. Instead, I wanted to incorporate my favourite animal into this book: the hippo.

Perhaps there is some side of me that identifies with the hippo:

1. I like to lay around, and particularly like to just sit in large pools of water. 

2. I am clearly not a skinny, tall giraffe, if you catch my drift.

3. I have a big mouth that gets me in trouble sometimes. 

4. I can be comical and "adorable" so that people will connect with me, like a cartoon hippo.

5. Underneath my pleasant exterior lies a dangerous predator that wants to attack! (I have tamed it to only come out in sarcasm.)

This brings me back to a time in my youth, many, many years ago, when I stumbled across a program on National Geographic called "The Dark Side of Hippos." I have always been a fan of hippos. They're fat and hilarious and just blobs that bring joy...in a zoo. But in nature, hippos are the deadliest large land mammal on the planet. In fact, it is estimated that hippo attacks kill 500 people each year in Africa. Hippos can kill a large crocodile with a single bite. On the show, they interviewed a man who had survived a hippo attack. He had fallen out of his boat and was eaten, head first, by a hippo. The hippo chomped him so hard it bit off his legs! But then it spit him out and his friends dragged him to shore and he somehow survived...sans legs. 

But that's not the point of this story. After watching "The Dark Side of Hippos" at the very late hours of the night on a Saturday, I went to church the next morning (to ask for forgiveness for watching the dark side of anything...) There I saw a friend and, from across the room, we yelled to each other, "Guess what I saw last night?!" Turns out we had both stumbled across this program late at night and decided to stay up to watch. It was amazing! Here I was thinking no one would ever watch such a ridiculous program, and she, too, had been watching! I love when things like that happen.

Years later I tried to contact National Geographic to get a copy of "The Dark Side of Hippos," but they never got back to me. Sad. I'd have liked to see it again.