The Mystice Marshes

Back in the day when I was younger and slightly more adventurous, I went white water rafting. A few times, actually. And it never went as planned.

The first time we went, I had a blast! We wore wet suits since the water was so cold that if we fell in we would become hypothermic in minutes. It was a beautiful experience, and so relaxing for a first time rafting experience. There were a few great rapids, but nothing too intense. But why are we talking about white water rafting? Because when they yell, "TWO RIGHT!" you better be prepared to make two strong strokes on the right, just like Beriothien instructed his team.

Fast forward to the next year. We went on another amazing trip and went white water rafting with another crew. But here's the thing, when you book a white water rafting trip, there's usually a line of people who have booked and you get put into a group. However, when we arrived, there were two other rafts who already had their groups picked and it was my friend and I in the third raft. Since rafts can't go with two guests and a guide, two other guides joined us. Which meant we had the most experienced raft I think I'll ever have. The guides told us at one point that we could "bow ride," which is when you ride on the front of the raft through the rapids. They said it could be intense, but encouraged us to try. We were up for anything at this point, given we had just come back from Thailand two days prior and were actually super jet-lagged, so we did whatever they suggested. It was NUTS! The rapids were huge compared to our casual trip the year prior, and we flew over the waves! After we went through an intense rapids, named "Granny's Panties," he called us back to our seats and was laughing hysterically. We asked what was going on and he didn't say, but the guide in the raft ahead of us yelled back, "You guys are insane! I've never seen anyone bow ride through Granny's Panties before!" Turns out this wasn't a common occurrence and they figured they could get away with it since they had so many experienced rafters in the boat. This was also the year where I was told I looked "challenged" when I was rafting and began to feel very self-conscious in the raft.

Let me take you on a journey to year three of white water rafting. I don't really remember much about this year, except that I was once again accused of having a "challenged" look on my face for our pictures. Apparently when I'm happy and excited, I look slow. But our guide was intense and no one wanted to ride in the front as the front is responsible for the pace, and since we were highly experienced...more like musical and could keep a rhythm... we volunteered. I remember we tried "surfing" for the first time this year. Basically this involves finding a wave with a strong undercurrent, paddling like mad people to get on top of it, and then surfing as it spins beneath the raft. I remember paddling into the wave and the nose of the raft sunk into the water. I thought we were going under until we popped up on top and surfed for a second before it spit us out again. Oh yeah, this was also the year where we got caught in a rapid and I was flung out of the raft as the whole raft tilted and threatened to tip. Everyone dove to the high side but I had my head underwater in the low side and only my foot jammed into the side of the raft kept me from going over. In a feat of unexpected strength, I hoisted myself up far enough for my friend to grab my hand, pull me in just as the raft came down with a crash, and we kept paddling like nothing happened. That's right, I didn't let go of my paddle. Take that, raft guide! BTW, she had her emergency bag in hand and was ready to dive in after me, that's how close I was. Yet here I am. 

It wasn't until our fourth year of rafting that I actually thought I was going to die. Both literally, and figuratively. We went rafting with this group who had never rafted before. Since we'd been several times now and were SOOOO experienced (sarcasm), we let the father/son duo sit in the front. However, they sucked at keeping time and we traded part way through. Again we tried "surfing" on a wave, which was much larger and more intense. We paddled madly to get on top and again the water flooded the front of the raft, dragging the nose under. We knew eventually we could get up on top again, but it was so fast, and so strong, that it flooded my corner completely, dragged me under, and essentially waterboarded me. I literally thought I was going to drown. I was flailing about, looking for anything to grasp to pull myself up but found nothing. Until my hand connected with what I thought was someone's knee, and I grabbed hard and yanked myself upright. I remember a few people in the raft pointing and laughing, and I glared at them because I was terrified. When we got to our next stop, my friend told me that wasn't a knee I grabbed, but the nether-regions of the man behind me. That was a first. 

I haven't been rafting since. I've wanted to, but it isn't the type of thing you do alone and I don't have very many adventurous friends anymore. Still, I might choose an easier rafting experience next time. And maybe take some girlfriends who don't want to see me die like the random guys in the raft.

All in all, it's an experience I recommend, despite the unfortunate events. That's fairly normal for me, so it's doubtful that will happen to you. :)